I deleted everything and now I am using all my will power to rely on myself. I can't keep doing the whole roller coaster thing to myself. Now when I feel like I need someone to pull me out of the hole in sinking into, I write a letter to myself, in the dark, on my Blackberry.
I'm the one who does the work anyway. As if a, "You'll be okay sweetie. You'll be fine Raquel," really is enough to give someone else credit for feeling safe, having faith, right? Right? Right? I never wanted to be alone until I was. Now I am, and something is always testing me.
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