Sheesh

There's an internship I "want" at the Public Policy Institute in Sacramento. The application was straight forward, I finished the cover letter 2 weeks ago and was just waiting on letters of recommendation. I offered to help my recommenders by creating a draft for them to work from since the request came a little late. Easy enough. Except I didn't do it, I didn't do it and I didn't do it. I finally sent my professor his draft on Thursday around 3 am. He brought the signed copy to class last night. The other person didn't get her draft till 8:30 something this morning. All the materials are due sometime today. What time??? All week, I've punished myself with the stress of needing to do something. I could have just relaxed, but when I did, I knew I should be working on the letters of recommendation, and I felt frantic. But not enough to act. I should have just owned that I didn't feel like doing crap- then maybe I could have really relaxed. Or maybe I would feel guilty regardless, because I'm not self-motivated these days. Not even for spurts.

When I woke up this morning to finally do the letter of rec to send to Erica, it took me 15 min. Why didn't I just do it in the beginning? I wasted (arguable) a week of my life reading news on the net. I still haven't even done Quant homework. ugh...